Saturday, March 10, 2012

new direction

For a few weeks I have been seriously thinking of going in a new direction.  I think I am going to do a .com blog type thing that will hopefully tie my many endeavors together.  I could do the thing where I have multiple blogs, but it appeals more to have just one big this is me type place.  I assumed I would call this new place  Then a few days ago I had an email from etsy that seemingly introduced a simple thought: what are ways to inspire yourself to work?  The linked blog post is here     I started clicking links and reading, spent the whole evening reading actually.  This post most  caught my eye...
Apparently my assumption of a site name was not the best.  So for several days I have been thinking about this.  What is my overarching theme?  Does it matter, do I need one?  Do I think  this person is valid?  I don't really care if the idea moves me forward.  I am intrigued with the concept of multipotentiality.  Jerry calls me streaky, moving from one thing to another and never quite mastering any.  It is the same idea, just with bigger words.  The idea that everything I do could have a common theme seems so boxy, and boxes always move me forward, even though I rarely know how to create them.  I am starting to get a picture of what I want.  And I think the theme is sensory. 

There is of course another side to this and that is old tapes playing away in the background saying I am not good enough, have nothing of value to offer, and so forth.  At this point I see two encouragements.  Last summer I was reading Isaiah and was struck by the beginning scene where Isaiah is called and goes to the I can't do that I am not good enough bit, and then the burning coal is placed to his mouth and he responds, saying, (my words) Let's do this!   I thought OK, why am I not doing that?  And it has made a difference. Then just this week another thought, from James, that joy can come from anguish, that the 'stuff' in our lives can be as childbirth, pain leading to joy.  I want that.